Where's my handcuffs?

Yes, we love our guns and knives and shiny toys. But the one item that can drive coppers crazy is handcuffs. You lose them, you are lost. "Sure," you say, "But aren't those things in a nice case on your belt?" Yes, but when they come out, all hell breaks loose. What body are they on? Did you get them back to me? Are those my 'cuffs?" and on and on and on. Those little devils are a trial and a tribulation.

Case in point, I'm now into the second month working with this particular probationary officer. She and I make our merry way through the city, going to radio calls and solving problems. And we take people to jail. Yesterday (January 22, 2010) we transported a 5150 female (female with mental illness) to the hospital for evaluation and treatment. My partner proceeds to explain how these new handcuffs are great! Better than the last ones she had, which went the way of the dodo.

Yes, the old Peerless Model 700s. Great handcuffs: http://www.peerless.net/tl_files/content/pdf/M700.pdf Look at them, they are beautiful.

Come today and we transport an intoxicated young adult from the local college. Yup, when your probably double the limit at 0700 hours...not good. But this kid was mellow. Partner hooked him up and we later transported from our station to 77th Jail.

A thing about jail. Even cops have to take off their guns and toys. It's just safer. So all those cop shows and movies where coppers go inside the jail with their gun? BOWL SHEET. Which means I have no collapsible baton...Which means I have no place to put the excess handcuffs from my partner once I unhook our body. Can't hook them on my baton, I 'll put them...

Later on at night, we have another body, a forgery arrest. Midway through her report, my partner laments , "I can't find those new handcuffs. I know I had them this morning on the way to 77th Jail. What happened?

ME: "Did you check the car?"
PARTNER: "I'll go look around." She proceeds to check our vehicle, her locker, the parking lot, the last desk she used last night. "Can't find them, they're gone. I looked everywhere."
ME: "Now let's retrace our steps. You had them this morning..."
PARTNER: "I hooked up that drunk guy for 77th. They were on him. We searched him here, you took them off, I ran him and did the booking paperwork....
ME: Right, well, I hooked him back up to go to 77th. We took him there, walked him into the dispensary (medical check) and...

Suddenly I felt pinch in my back pocket...I stood up, reached into my right rear pocket..

ME: And here they are!
PARTNER: HAHAHA just like that! What was that? Magic? You had them the whole time!
ME: Yeah! But I had to retrace my steps to discover that. See, we needed to conduct our investigation.....